


In the Clutches of the Centipede

by HinotamaSoul



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: F/M, Mind Games, Pain, shikigami - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 07:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9224129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinotamaSoul/pseuds/HinotamaSoul
Summary: The events during Kanans captivity and her suicide the way I imagined it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [In den Fängen der Tausendfüssler](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/253421) by Hinotama-Soul. 



> I believe that all of us wonder why Kanan did what she did when Gonou came to rescue her. And I had an idea to explain her actions.  
> Don´t hate me?

"You have quite a temper, don´t you... The subordinates had to use most of their strength to bring you here", he purred in the most disgusting way, his grey eyes never leaving her face, "I believe you even killed one with a kitchen knife. Very impressiv..."  
Her green eyes glared with hatred into his pale, smiling face, while she pushed her entire body against the cellarwall in her back. The stones coldness seeping into her very bones but she remained silent.

"You have a lover... I heard", her eyes grew colder as soon as she heard the mocking but still curious tone in his words, "Will he come to rescue you? Or will he start a new life, now that your sinful relationship found an aprubt end?"  
Her hands formed fists but she pressed them against her body to hide her reaction.  
She bit her lips to force herself to stay quiet and tasted blood not a second later.  
"You dont want to talk to me? That hurts... I just came the long way down here to keep you company", the smile on his pale, thin lips stretched till she was able to see his teeth behind it - nothing about it showed compassion or sympathy but there was sadistic joy at her expense.  
She never made a sound.

"I wonder what he looks like...", the demon puzzled loud enough for her to hear. He moved forward and sat down only two metres away form her cell on a single wooden chair, "Does he have the same green eyes? Is his hair as dark and thick as yours? It it short or long?"  
She tried not to react to his questions but he seemed to look through her like through glas and to see the answers he wanted to find. He looked into her as if she was a spotless window that revealed all her inner secrets.  
His questioning continued till he lost his interest or till he had enough informations - she wasn´t sure what was the case. But he left her alone after this small infinity and didn´t return.

In his place other demons arrived, who dragged her under screams and fighting out of her cell and into a anormous bedchamber where pain found another place to hunt her.  
What this monster did with her was nothing like the loving hours she spend with her sweet, innocent and considerate brother.

After it was finished with her, she felt dirty and unworthy to ever lay a single finger on her lover again.  
They put her like a broken toy back in her prisoncell where she cuddled in on herself despite the pain the movement caused her and thought about the beautiful hands, the soft voice and the sweet smile of her soulmate.

 

The next time she woke up against all hope she still was in the cold underground prison, but someone stood before her who had eyes as green as hers.  
"Gonou?", relief flooded her and she nearly crawled across the stonefloor to reach the person as soon as possible. Her fingers cramped around the thick bars, "Gonou, you are here, you-... Gonou?"  
"So that is his name?", the pale demon stepped out of the shadows and eyed her brother thoughtfully before he touched his cheek and turned to her, "I never thought that it would be that easy... does my shikigami really look that much like him?"

As soon as the demon finished speaking, Kanan saw more and more differences between this creature and her beloved.  
The nose was to sharp, the hair just a little to bright, the shoulders were to broad and the colour of its eyes was to dark now that she was closer. What was more was that this... thing looked through her.  
Her brother never looked pass her, never.

Disgusted she turned around and brought distance between herself and this creature that gave her hope for just a moment.  
"So he isn´t perfect, yet... That´s something I can change", said the demon and made her look back.  
She watched horrified how long claws tore through the flesh of the shikigami that didn´t move a muscle as it crumbled to pieces.  
Eventough it wasn´t her brother, it looked alike enought to froze the blood in her venes and stop her heart for a moment. She couldn´t stop herself from the horrified sound that left her lips and couldn´t help but pray to whatever god was listening that her brother would forget her and start a life without her.

 

During her captivity the demon created more shikigami and everytime he showed her a new one there were less differences between it and her brother.  
His sadistic glee grew with each new creation.

One day one of them started talking to her and she knew that she could only escape the madness if she ended her life.

 

More specimen followed and as soon as the demon created the perfect doppelganger he started to injure the following ones - deep fleshwounds, missing or broken limbs, eyes torn out of their sockets and blades that were stapped through the body.  
She was afraid of every new horror but she never allowed herself to look away in case that her Gonou appeared.  
But he never came.

 

After another painful session in the bedchamber and the resulting dishonour of her blood, the demon stopped to bring more shikigami to her.

 

"Kanan! Are you here?", a few days later a voice echoed through the underground dungeon and she looked up - like so many times before.  
"Gonou...?", she asked still hopeful and eyed the stagering form that came down the steps. Her fingers cramped around the fimiliar, rough metalbars, "Go... nou? Are-... are you my Gonou?"  
"You are alive! I am so glad!", he kneeled down infornt of her cell and touched her through the thick bars of her prison.

That was something no shikigami ever did before - did that mean that this man was really her beloved?

"Your right eye...", concered she laid a hand under his injured eye on his bloody cheek, "What are you doing here?"  
"I am so sorry for all the things they did to you", he whispered and hugged her - that was the moment when she saw the demon coming out of one of the shadows and lost all hope, "Let´s go home, Kanan! I will protect you..."

She noticed the knife by his hip and prepared herself for the last step.  
She closed her eyes, breathed his scent in and for a short while she allowed herself to be deceived by his warmth.   
She finally released her breath and let the words that were only meant for her real and true Gonou roll off of her tongue, "...it is too late, Gonou", she forced her lovers name out of her mouth.  
The shikigami looked at her from his uninjured eye, "Kanan?"

She took the knife and stepped back from her lovers doppelganger.

"What are you doing...?", he looked at her with his green, green eye and she wasn´t able to bear it. Behind his kneeling form the demon grinned out of his dark corner.  
She closed her eyes and imagined to be infront of her sweet, beloved brother, "In my body I am carrying this monsters child... that´s why...", she could feel the tears that rolled down her cheeks and forces herself to smile a last time for her other half, "Goodbye, Gonou."

As soon as she rised the knife to plung it into her stomach, she heard the heartbroken call of the creature that still kneeled infront of her prison but there was no remose while the blade went through her skin and freed her from this nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, what do you think about it? It makes sense that Chin Yisou created shikigami to tortue her, no? Guess he wanted to have his own fun...
> 
> It accured to me some time ago while rereading the manga. Chin Yisou is quite fond of his creations and really good at making shikigami. So what is if he already knew that technic back then when his father held Kanan as a toy... it isn´t that far-fetched.
> 
> Hopefully there ain´t to many mistakes... english isn´t my native tounge so I apologies if there are grand mistakes.


End file.
